LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF

Back when Congress still showed up for work and passed the "Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007," I was on board.  It was in the midst of my environmentally responsible stage, and I believed with my heart of hearts that efficient light bulbs would, if not save the world, at least make it a better place for all mankind.  I couldn't wait to buy our first batch of CFL bulbs, but our incandescents just kept hanging on until finally, one cold afternoon--"pop, crack, fizzle"--and our living room table lamp was gone.  We raced to Home Depot and bought a 60-watt CFL lightbulb...not because we particularly wanted a 60-watt bulb (we needed one-hundred watts) but it was the only CFL available.  And, I guess it didn't really say it was a 60-watt bulb, it was a "replacement for"  a 60-watt bulb.  But sadly, it wasn't really.  We were about to learn our first lesson regarding energy-saving light bulbs.  Lumens.

Lumens are a measure of brightness and, apparently, are extremely precious or simply scarce.  If you replace a 60-watt incandescent bulb with a 60-watt equivalent CFL bulb, you will wonder where the light went.  So, forget about watts.  In today's world watts are meaningless.  It's all about lumens.  If you're replacing a 60-watt bulb, you will need at least 800 lumens.  It is not possible to purchase the 880 lumens that 60-watt incandescents used to put out.  That world has shut down.  Shop lumens.  But don't be surprised if they seem to be a bit stingy with them.

In order to make us feel better, we are told that CFL's, dim though they are, will last much longer than those nasty old incandescents and our savings will pile up amazingly fast.  I believed that until my first CFL burned out much quicker than the neighboring incandescent.  It seems, my friends, that a CFL rated to last 10,000 hours (vs. an incandescent at a mere 1,000 hours) will only perform that feat if you don't turn it off and on too much.  And, no, they didn't define how much was "too much." 

But, we are not finished yet.  We haven't discussed Kelvin.  New energy efficient bulbs will report their Kelvin--ie., their color temperature.  In this case, higher Kelvin  numbers mean the light will tend toward blue, whereas lower Kelvin numbers produce more natural light--more like sunshine.  If you grew up with incandescents and you like the way you and your house look in that light, go for 2700 K.  If, however, you want a whiter light move up from there.  But, be careful.  Right after we popped for a $25.00 LED bulb over our breakfast bar, put it in the socket and turned it on, our absolutely gorgeous granite (four weeks of shopping and months of scrimping) disappeared from sight.  Gone...washed out...blah.  Apparently, we went a little heavy on the K's.

All of which makes me want to say that I'm too old and set in my ways for this whole light bulb situation.  I did not stockpile incandescent bulbs because I felt it was un-American, and now look what has happened.  I'm buying bulbs that will live longer than I will, and if I don't get the Lumens and the Kelvins and the new Color Rendering Index just right, BC and I, plus some of the nicer features of our home, will look like hell for as long as we're here.  And that makes me sad--and just the slightest bit ticked off.